“I’m thankful for pumpkin soy lattes!” a friend posted on
Facebook. It was early November 2009- I
was unemployed, the weather was dreary, and I was feeling down. As I looked at this friend’s post I wondered
why she was so cheerful- she too, was unemployed and had less than I did. The simple joy behind her post moved me to
smile.
While we all know that “it’s good” to be thankful and to
count our blessings, have you ever wondered how doing so affects us? Do we actually experience more enjoyment in
our lives when we embody a sense of gratitude?
Looking around and reminding ourselves of the many reasons we have to be thankful, moves
our awareness to the present moment.
It’s so easy to get caught up in “I will be happy when ______” type of
thinking, yet doing so robs us of enjoying the current moment. Instead of choosing to be happy now, “I will
be happy when” thinking just puts off our happiness- which is ironically the
very thing we are ultimately longing for.
Being thankful for what we already have enables us to come from a sense of appreciation rather
than focusing on getting away from the
gap that is between what we have and what we want.
Einstein said that when he gave thanks he focused on why he was thankful. “I am thankful to have ________ in my life
because it/they are blessing me in _____ (these ways)____.” He listed not just the items he was thankful
for, but how they benefitted him and why these benefits mattered to him. (A modern example is “I am thankful for my
car because it safely, reliably, and efficiently transports me to places that I
need to go and to see friends.” Do you
feel how stating why you’re thankful puts the focus on the difference the car
makes in your life rather than on the hunk of metal? ) Phrasing what we are thankful for in this
manner brings the feeling of thankfulness even more deeply into our
hearts.
Instead of framing your thankfulness from the perspective of
“It’s a good thing I have this because it’d really be a grind if I didn’t”,
which is focusing on what it would be like not
to have it, try instead focusing on the benefits of what you are thankful for such
as “it makes my life so much easier and more efficient which frees up more time
for me to do the things that I enjoy”. When you see those in need, instead of
thinking “I am sure glad I’m not them” (and perhaps giving out of guilt)
instead try “I desire for them to experience more comfort, I know that I am so blessed and
from my richness I contribute and support them to be doing better." The difference is subtle, but important
because with the latter your focus is on appreciation and your compassion will
feel freer.
On that drizzly morning I decided to try a “daily
thankfulness project” on Facebook. On
each day until the Thanksgiving holiday I would post something I was thankful
for and invite my friends to join me in doing so. Since we are using Facebook to connect,
learning what our friends are thankful for brings us closer to them. Each morning upon rising I’d rush to my laptop
to see a series of posts “I am thankful for my furnace!”, “I am thankful for
hot water!”, “I am thankful to have a job!”, and each post had me smiling more
fully.
Imagine if those Mayflower Pilgrims could glimpse into the
future and see us with our dials on our walls that burst out heat, our handheld
devices that allow us to talk with friends who are far away, female adults voting
in elections, and our walking into stores that offer an array of foods we can
select. They would be in awe of what is
every-day life for us.
What are you thankful for and how has it made a difference in your life?
What are you thankful for and how has it made a difference in your life?
